|A few dark poems I liked...
||[Dec. 1st, 2003|06:21 pm]
|||||Alone I break - Korn||]|
These arnt all written by me..thougha few were..Ilike them though. Funny thing is...I forgot whom wrote them.
Every day I awake, I feel I've give up a little more.
It's very little, very slowly.. but I can still feel it.
If I only had myself to worry about, I dunno if I'd bother to go on.
But I do not only have myself to think about.
I have my family. My friends. Other people I know.
So I no longer live because I want to live.
I live because I have an obligation to live.
I know I'm not easy to talk to..
I know I'm not easy to get to know..
But just because I'm different, just because I'm not like everybody else..
It doesn't mean I don't feel.. it doesn't mean I don't want..
I need to be loved, just like everybody else!
So why am I still alone? Why does nobody like me?
Won't somebody just love me......
I always smile. Always make jokes.
I try to act strong-willed and carefree.
But if people knew how I really felt inside, they'd wonder why.
They'd wonder how I manage to smile. How I manage to appear happy.
I dunno.. all I know is that if I don't smile, I become sad.
And if I'm sad, I eventually cry..
So I smile, and I laugh, and I joke.. so I won't cry..
I just don't want to cry anymore...
It's always hard when people leave your life... if they dissapear, or die from you, or simply decides to leave.
Too many people that were important to me have abandoned me...
And every time they do, I get more afraid of attaching and bonding with someone else, because I fear they too will leave me.
I'm afraid, that in the end, I won't dare having contact with anybody, anymore...
Thank you so much for leaving me, when you know how painful it is!
Thank you so much for leaving me, although though you knew how important you were to me!
Thank you so much for leaving me, even if I begged you not to!
Every time someone abandons me, it changes me, for better or worse.
I only hope I manage to make it for the better...
Below me is my abyss. My void. My giant emptiness.. my End...
All that keeps me from falling are these strings.. these thin, fragile strings...
These ones, over here.. 'family'
And those.. 'friends'
This thicker one here.. such a nice girl, a good friend. People like her are hard to come by...
But I feel too many strings break, and not enough new ones are made...
How long will they be able to hold?
The tears you cry.. are they mine? Or are they yours?
Feelings we once shared.. did they never matter? Or are they still precious?
Whatever I did wrong.. can't you forgive me?
Or was it you who did wrong.. and can't forgive yourself?
We all wear masks.. because we are afraid of showing our true selves..
The more you hide, the heavier the mask, the higher the personal price..
My mask is very heavy.....